Under the mistletoe - part 2

[4kennedy]

Title: Under the mistletoe
Author: 4kennedy
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairing: Cameron/Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Summary: As Christmas is coming closer even the Connor household gets into the seasonal spirit.
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don’t own them; they belong to FOX television and Warner Brothers.
Notes: Written for charrua33. The wish on the Christmas wish list at passion_perfect was 'Getting caught under the mistletoe'. Thanks to my wonderful beta reader gsr_rocks!


Part 2

At eight in the morning on the tenth of December, Sarah had just finished her morning training session and came back into the house to find the kitchen empty. Once again. Like every day since the first of the month. There was no Cameron in sight. The only hint that the girl already had been in the kitchen was the full coffee pot, waiting for her with the switched on machine, so that the dark liquor wouldn’t get cold.

How thoughtful of her, Sarah pondered on the terminator’s behaviour, looking at the coffee pot incredulously. It was such a small sign of Cameron and still it showed so much. The girl really seemed to care for her and was aware of her habits like to first enjoy a cup of coffee after her workout instead of heading for the shower directly.

One and a half week ago Sarah had interpreted it as an attempt to twist her around her finger, to pull her in even more and it had made her angry. Today she saw it in a different light. It made her feel attended to. It was nice that someone paid attention to her. She didn’t get a lot of it from John these days; he preferred to spend his time with Riley and when there was a chance to talk, they were mostly arguing. And as for Derek, he wasn’t around that much either, but Sarah honestly didn’t give a damn.

So it was basically Cameron and her most of the time, especially since John had dropped out of school, which automatically made it unnecessary for the terminator to go as well. Thinking about it, Sarah came to the conclusion that they were quite accustomed to each other by now. She didn’t tense every time the girl walked into the room and the hatred she had felt during the first weeks had diminished tremendously. Unlike her mind and emotions, her body had responded to the undeniable attractiveness of the girl right away and as everything else was changing, this wasn’t.

Sighing, Sarah took a mug and filled it, savouring the smell of the beverage. She carefully took a sip, it was just the way she liked it. Of course. She let her thoughts wander some more, leaning against the kitchen counter.

During the last couple of days she had found herself contemplating and thinking about Cameron increasingly. Sarah blamed the damn Christmas mood; it made her mushy and sentimental. Both her body and mind, were longing for closeness, some comforting, and to give in at least a little bit. It was influencing her train of thoughts. She was also craving some other things where she didn’t want her thoughts to even start to go to.

Sarah had to admit that it saddened her a little that the terminator had taken her request to stop watching her seriously and was considerate of it. In particular, since she had discovered some intriguing things about Cameron. They’d made her very curious, afraid, and excited. She was desperate to find out more.

John had told her and had tried to explain to his mother that there was more to the terminator than she thought there was. Some part of Sarah already knew or at least suspected it, but the rest of her didn’t want to accept it and was still struggling with it. It wasn’t something to grasp just like that.

Cameron was continuously evolving, evolving beyond her programming, learning, and experiencing. She wasn’t simulating human behaviour like she had thought; she was just learning how to express what she was feeling.

Feelings. John had actually insisted that Cameron was able to feel, even if only to a certain degree. But he wasn’t sure how it worked, couldn’t tell her how similar the sensations Cameron interpreted as feelings were to theirs.

Of course Sarah had asked him, how he could be so sure. She could tell that he was keeping something back from her. His answer was devastating. For weeks Cameron had come to seek advice from him, explained to him what she was experiencing and wanting to know how to deal with it. The girl truly believed that she had a crush on her. It was all a little bit too much for Sarah; she had left the room without another word and fled to the garage to hit the bag for hours.

It was four days ago that she had found out the truth. Right after Cameron had given her a light, sweet kiss on the cheek, John felt constrained to let her in on the terminator’s secret.

Sarah’s head was spinning from all the thinking and her stomach was constantly in an emotional rollercoaster.

Trying to push everything aside for a moment, Sarah placed the now empty mug into the sink and left the kitchen with the intention to head upstairs and to enjoy a long shower. However, the plan changed when she came by the living room, spotting Cameron sitting on the couch, her legs bent at the knees and her feet tucked beneath her. The girl was engrossed in a book, reading and turning the pages with an incredible speed.

And Cameron was humming. It was scarcely audible, but Sarah heard it nonetheless. She stared at her in a mixture of disbelief and fascination, trying to figure out which song it was, but coming up blank.

“Are you humming?” Sarah asked the terminator with obvious amazement. She would’ve never expected from the terminator to do something so human. It was just as fascinating as seeing her dancing ballet. Every time Sarah secretly watched her when the girl practiced, she was mesmerized by the soft, delicate movements Cameron’s body was capable of.

“Yes.” Cameron looked up to her, slightly furrowing her brows. “Did I disturb you? That was not my intention. I will read on in quietness.

“No, you didn’t disturb me.” Sarah didn’t enter the living room, consciously standing in the door frame. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. So far she had only spoken to John about Cameron, but couldn’t bring herself to talk to the girl directly. Maybe she should give it a try; maybe it would help her to sort things out if she had more information. “Why were you doing it at all?”

There was a sceptical look on Cameron’s face now. “Humans hum for many different reasons. It is associated with various moods, it’s a way of showing your current emotional state,” Cameron replied instantly, watching the other woman closely as if deciding what it was she wanted to hear from her.

Normally, Sarah would have clarified for the hundredth time that she was not in the least a human being, but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to say it, as if it would upset the girl. “So you were humming to appear more human and to blend in convincingly or…,” Sarah trailed off, feeling stupid for even considering any other option and wondering if the girl had told her this on purpose. It gave her the impression that she wanted her to know that she had moods, that she was feeling something, which she expressed through humming.

“There’s no point in pretending to you that I’m human, because you know that I’m not,” Cameron stated, folding the book up and laying it aside, her attention completely focused on the other woman. She had noticed the difference, the way in which Sarah had spoken the words. It wasn’t meant as an accusation, she was trying to understand her.

Sarah sighed. Obviously the girl wasn’t going to make this any easier for her. “Are you saying that… does that mean you …felt like humming?” She shifted nervously from one foot to the other; it made her uncomfortable to have this kind of conversation with Cameron. It was like stepping into unexplored terrain, yet she couldn’t resist.

“Maybe. I didn’t make the conscious decision to hum, there was no direct command from me and nevertheless, I was doing it,” the terminator explained, sounding cautious and even surprised by her own behaviour.

There was only one possible conclusion Sarah could draw. “Do I wanna know which emotional state you were showing?” she questioned further, her eyes leaving Cameron’s features and investigating her toe-caps instead. It was an awkward situation and Sarah knew she couldn’t be bearing it to look into Cameron’s brown eyes when she would say what she thought the girl was about to say.

“Probably not,” Cameron replied and offered her a shy smile. Her sensors easily picked up on the different physiological indicators of Sarah’s body as well as her body language. The other woman was torn. This was the most difficult emotional condition for the terminator in general, because the interpretation of the sensory data couldn’t tell her for sure how to handle the situation. She was on her own.

Sarah nodded in understanding, still staring at the floor and chewing on her bottom lip. “Can you come over for a second?” she wanted to know after several moments, finally daring to look at Cameron again.

With a puzzled facial expression the terminator rose from her seated position on the couch and walked slowly towards the other woman, her hips swaying with every step. It made Sarah gulp, suddenly her mouth felt very dry.

It won’t mean anything, it won’t mean anything, it won’t mean anything, Sarah repeated in her mind countless times like a mantra. It’ll only be a small sign of gratitude, that’s all.

When the girl was standing right in front of her, closer as necessary and appropriate, looking at her expectantly and innocent, Sarah had to take in a deep breath to calm her nerves.

“Is there anything you need?” Cameron asked in her deadpan monotone, but somehow the question had triggered a change in Sarah’s biochemical signals. She registered a speeding-up of her pulse, her pupils were dilated and her body temperature had risen, which made her cheeks flush. These sensory data were easy to decipher for the terminator. Sarah’s body was responding to the closeness of hers and her own was responding too. It made something twitch in the area near Cameron’s bellybutton.

“I… I just wanted to let you know that I… appreciate your help.” It was lame, Sarah knew that. How was she supposed to concentrate with the girl so close? “I don’t show it very often and I certainly never have said it before, but I’m glad that the John of the future has sent you back.” Finally she had been able to say those words to the terminator. They had been on her mind for a while, but they never came out when she tried to.

They looked into each others eyes, silently communicating. The atmosphere around them seemed to charge with electricity.

Cameron wanted to say something, her lips already had parted, but she never had the chance to get out one syllable.

Before Sarah could change her mind she moved forward and brought their lips together. She held her breath and didn’t dare to do anything more as letting her lips only linger on Cameron’s. It was soft and sweet. And not enough.

The urge to wrap her arms around the girl’s neck, to bring their bodies into full contact and to kiss her thoroughly was pulling at Sarah. But she couldn’t cave into this just like this, she wasn’t ready.

Not yet, Sarah admitted to herself. Slowly she ended the contact, taking a step back and trying to collect her thoughts.

Cameron’s eyes fluttered open, watching her intensely and tilting her head a little to the side to show her confusion. The kiss, which had lasted exactly 4.7 seconds, had only been a meeting of their lips and yet it had affected her systems. There were small electrical jolts in her stomach, probably a minor short circuit; even though Cameron couldn’t detect it. She decided that it didn’t matter as it was a very pleasant sensation.

“Mistletoe,” Sarah explained, pointing above their heads and smiling widely for a split second, before she was able to wipe it from her face. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she felt dizzy, and her knees were wobbly. Cameron must have noticed it, because small, strong hands were gently gripping her shoulders and kept her stable.

“I see.” A small, satisfied smile graced Cameron’s features, her thumb stroking tenderly the bare skin of Sarah’s shoulder and holding onto the other woman longer than required. To her surprise Sarah let the contact happen and even placed a hand on hers.

*****

At quarter past midnight on the fourteenth of December, Cameron was sitting bolt upright on the couch in the living room. The TV was switched on, but she didn’t pay any attention to it. It was only a background noise, a cover in case John or Derek would enter the room. She didn’t need the TV program to keep her occupied; she had something way more interesting to study instead.

Cameron’s gaze was focused intensely on the raven-haired woman using her lap as a pillow and sleeping easefully. It was a rare occasion that Sarah’s sleep was untroubled; having monitored it for months, the terminator knew that the mother of all destiny was haunted by nightmares almost every night. Tonight had been no exception at first.

They had watched an old black-and-white movie together, sitting apart half a meter. The distance between them caused an odd ache in Cameron’s chest, which was actually somewhat painful, but the girl still didn’t activate the pain suppressor. Everything she felt in connection to Sarah Connor was worth being felt. She was the one who had opened that door for her and the terminator never wanted to go back to before, no matter what it would take. Some pain was a small prize to pay.

After the first twenty minutes of the movie were over, in which Cameron had glanced at Sarah thirty times and Sarah had glimpsed at her twenty-four times, the raven-haired woman seemed to have come to a decision. As she was sliding over to her centimetre for centimetre, the ache in the terminator’s chest turned into a prickle. When Sarah finally had laid her head on Cameron’s shoulder and their bodies were pressed slightly to each other’s sides, the electrical jolts were back in her stomach and her temperature rose until she felt really hot.

They didn’t speak; there was no need for it. Even though Cameron would have liked to ask the other woman if it was okay when she would lay an arm around her. It took her fifty-three seconds to decide, which was extremely long for a terminator, but she didn’t want Sarah to pull back from her and had to consider it elaborately.

Relief washed over the brunette girl as Sarah smiled against her shoulder and placed a hand on her stomach, after Cameron had draped an arm around the other woman, pressing her against her sturdy frame.

Another twenty minutes later and Sarah was asleep, making Cameron smile and letting her register a further increase of affection for the other woman. It was a huge amount of trust Sarah displayed. It meant a lot to Cameron. But it didn’t take Sarah long to slip into a nightmare, her features contorted in anxiety and pain, groaning occasionally and the hand on the terminator’s stomach was clenched into a fist, gripping her shirt tightly.

It took Cameron a while, but finally she had been able to soothe Sarah without waking her up. She had pulled her as close as possible and stroked her back evenly, attaching her lips lightly to her forehead and humming the same song she had hummed four days ago. When Sarah had finally calmed down again, Cameron lowered her into a recumbent position on the couch and placing her head on her thighs.

As the girl continued to look down at Sarah, her face showed the affection she felt openly; there was no reason to hide it behind a blank mask, everyone was asleep. No one would catch her. Hesitantly she raised a hand, bringing it close to the other woman’s head, wanting to touch her so badly. When her fingers met Sarah’s soft, dark hair, she couldn’t repress a sigh. She gently caressed it for a moment before her hand wandered delicately over Sarah’s arm and settling on her side in the curve just above her hip.

It wasn’t until the break of dawn that Cameron moved again and only because Sarah was about to wake up. Figuring that it would startle and embarrass the other woman to find herself snuggled up against the terminator, Cameron shifted her carefully and stood up, leaving the living room after she had tugged a cushion under Sarah’s head as a substitute for her legs.

tbc…

A/N: I'm sorry, but I won't probably be able to update the story before I'm leaving for my Christmas vacation. I'll try to post the next part as soon as possible, promise.

Feeling:  hungry

Comments

[amikana.livejournal.com]

i love how adorable this is - great work!

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

thank you! I want it be nice and cute, because it's Christmas =) everyone can use a little bit fluff.

[savagevalyn.livejournal.com]

Absolutely wonderful! Fluently written, I felt that the characters held true to their foundational essence, compliments to the method you've had Sarah and Cameron interact. Mistletoe, Christmas, very evocative; It's strikingly adorable. I look forward to the next part in this fic! Thanks for your efforts in writing this. Much appreciated and enjoyed. ;3

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

omg, you've probably no idea what a comment like this means to mean *squeee* it makes me sooo very happy and my heart is all warm und fuzzy now =) thank you so much! It's so good to read/know that my writing and charactarization is appreciated, because I'm not a native English speaker and I'm still relatively new to the fandom when it comes to writing it. Thanks again! you made my day

[charrua33.livejournal.com]

I think you know how much I'm loving this...Thank you again and have a wonderful vacation. I hope Santa treats you as well as you have been treating me...

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

And you know how glad I am that you like your present =) trust me I put all the effort I can into writing this.
Well, I'll find out soon how Santa treats me *g* thank you, I definitely can use the break from the office and being home for Christmas.

[karjens40.livejournal.com]

Wow. I loved this. Truly. I really liked Cameron's attemtpting to explain her humming.

This was very sweet. I like how both are confused and wary but it's not overyly wrought with angst and fear, especially from Sarah. Not that I don't mind some angstiness now and again. heh.

Fantastic. Looking forward to t he next part even if we do have to wait until after Christmas Vacation. heh.

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

*yay* this filled my heart with joy! your comment makes me happy and it reassures me that the effort I'm putting into writing this is worth it.
The humming will be mentioned again in the next part. Yes, I do have a plan for the story *g*
And I wanted to write something were they're confused and cautious, but not too angsty. hey, it's a Christmas story and who can't use a little bit of fluff ;) even though (spoiler alert!) there'll be a little bit of angst in the next chapter, but not too much.
Thank you so much! I'll at least try to write most of the next part so that I can post it as soon as I'm back from my vacation.

[karjens40.livejournal.com]

We're all looking forward to it. I hope you have a splendid vacation..

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

aw, thank you! I wish you a lovely Christmas time, too.

[xxtorchxx.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm all warm and fuzzy now. ;O) Thank you, can't wait to read more!! Enjoy your vacation.

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

heh, warm and fuzzy is what I'm aiming for with this story! it's the time of the year where we all long for it =) thank you, have a wonderful Christmas yourself!

[tanama30.livejournal.com]

another great addition to this fic i hope you update it soon

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

thank you! I'm glad you like it =) I hope that I'll be able to update it sooner as I think I might be. we'll see, I'll give my best.

[demoka.livejournal.com]

awww

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

*gg* yep, definitely I reaction I was aiming for =)

[revolos55.livejournal.com]

Awwww. Love the scene of Sarah sleeping on Cameron. Too cute.

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

I just liked the image it produced in my head and so I had to write it. thank you for your comment!

[olli01a.livejournal.com]

I like especially how carefull and slow yet constantly Cameron and Sarah become closer. That Cameon lets down her guard when she is with Sarah and shows her emotions well done but looking at their changed relationship understandable development of Cameron's behaviour.

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

so you've catched up with your flist =) *yay*
it's important to me to develop their relationship slowly, that's why I choose the concept of telling the date in the beginning of every paragraph. So their relationship will continue to change and of course there'll also be some angst (just a little bit)
Thank you very much, your comments are always very appreciated.

[olli01a.livejournal.com]

You are right. I think a relationship between Sarah and Cameron should develop slowly. I hope the next part will be out soon.

[4kennedy.livejournal.com]

I hoped that I would be able to post the next part before I leave for my Christmas vacation, but I haven't finished it yet =( I'm sorry, but I will try to post an update as soon as possible.