Under the mistletoe - part 5

[4kennedy]

Title: Under the mistletoe
Author: 4kennedy
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairing: Cameron/Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Summary: As Christmas is coming closer even the Connor household gets into the seasonal spirit.
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don’t own them; they belong to FOX television and Warner Brothers.
Notes: Written for charrua33. The wish on the Christmas wish list at passion_perfect was 'Getting caught under the mistletoe'. Thanks to my wonderful beta reader gsr_rocks!


Part 5

At half past two on the same day Cameron was in her room, wearing a pink bra and black faded jeans and her feet were bare. She was staring at her reflection in the mirror without blinking or moving. Apart from the two fresh gunshot wounds, one directly under her collarbone on the right side and one on the left side of her upper abdomen, her body could be considered as perfect.

Usually she didn’t spend that much time in this room, preferring to guard the house and watching over the inhabitants from the living room or the kitchen. They rarely entered her room when she was in it, but when she was in one of the common rooms they had to spar with her and it was easier to engage one of them in a conversation. The female half of the Connor household in particular.

Cameron contemplated whether it would change when her room would be more homey, when it would look like an actual human being was living in it. The furniture as well as the decoration was Spartan, an empty desk, a bed, a dresser and a cupboard. The walls were white and blank, not a single poster was hanging. It was more of a spare room than one of a teenaged girl. Right now Cameron didn’t care as it provided her the possibility of being close to Sarah without having to lurk suspiciously in the hallway. That was enough for her at the moment.

The girl wanted to make up to Sarah for her failure, fulfil her duty and staying nearby helped to ease the ache she had identified as a bad conscience. It was not supposed to be this way; she was not supposed to feel remorse or anything at all. Still she did and having once decided that all feelings she experienced especially in connection with Sarah Connor were worth being felt, she would go through with it. No matter pleasant or not.

John had called it an exciting adventure, a journey to a destination she couldn’t see yet. She hadn’t decided yet whether this was a good or a bad thing.

Cameron raised one hand to her collarbone, tracing the outline of the dressing, which she had put on the wound and were held in place by some adhesive strips. The bullets hadn’t caused her any serious damage, only the flesh and skin above her endoskeleton were damaged and the wounds would heal faster when she treated them medically.

Nonetheless, her injuries hurt. Not much, not like bullet wounds were hurting a human, but still she felt them painfully throbbing. Her eyes left the fingers on her collarbone, wandering up again to her reflection and checking her facial expression. Nothing. Not a tic, no sign of what she was feeling inside.

It was illogical. She was reacting inconsistently. Once she had told Sarah that she sometimes seemed to be inefficient. Now it was her who was being inefficient. That was not an adjective which should normally apply to terminators. She was an abnormality.

At least Cameron knew the reason for the inconsistency. John had come up with a theory when she had shared her perception and concerns with him after she had told him what had happened in the alley. And having analysed her reactions and feelings in different situations herself for various times, she had come to the same conclusion.

Cameron’s considerations were interrupted when her sensors registered movement. Sarah had left her room and was coming down the hallway.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed,” the terminator said as soon as the other woman was standing in the door. “You haven’t taken the painkillers. Why do you object to something that would help you to feel better?” Cameron didn’t want her to be in pain. The other woman was definitely the most stubborn human she had ever met.

Sarah noticed that it wasn’t only an observation the terminator stated, there was also a slight hint of accusation in it. “Because I’ve more questions for you and I need answers,” the raven-haired woman said resolutely, swaying on her feet and supporting herself with one hand against the door frame. “Before I knock myself out with those painkillers and having to trust you not to strangle me to death in my sleep.”

She smiled a little to show her that she was joking; well, half joking anyways. Trust surely didn’t come easily for her and certainly not when it concerned terminators. All she wanted from Cameron was to help her to understand what was going on in that chip of hers and what those changes in the girl’s behaviour meant.

“You can trust me. I’ve no intention of killing you in your sleep or killing you or John or even Derek Reese in general,” Cameron instantly replied, scanning and analysing Sarah’s vital signals “You should sit down. Your blood pressure and your heart rate are very low. It is likely that you will pass out if you don’t sit down. It would be even better when you would lie down and take the painkillers.” She had already made some steps towards the other woman, but Sarah stopped her by raising one hand.

“Stop telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. You’re not my fuckin’ nurse!” Sarah retorted, but walked over to the bed with unsteady steps and sat down nonetheless. After two and a half hours of lying restless on her bed and staring at the ceiling, she still felt dizzy and the headache hadn’t diminished a bit. There were too many things on her mind, bugging her and not letting her relax.

“No, I’m not,” the girl confirmed. “But I have extensive knowledge about first aid.” Cameron chose her words deliberately. When she had mentioned the subroutines and her programming yesterday it had enraged the other woman and she didn’t want to trigger a similar reaction again.

Sarah rubbed her fingers across her eyes. “Whatever,” she said after a few seconds, shrugging the topic off. There were more urgent matters to discuss.

This was it, the moment where she would finally talk to the girl about everything. She was done speculating. It was time to face the truth whether she would like what she heard or not. “What happened to the guy on the motorcycle? I remember that we both started to shot in his direction.”

“He got away,” Cameron told her, rooted to the spot with only her head tilted to the side.

“What?” Sarah asked dumbfounded. “You missed him?” Instead of getting some clarity, it just got stranger. Not only had Cameron pushed her too hard, she had let that guy get away.

“No. One bullet hit him, but it wasn’t lethal.” It was another thing where she had failed and she could see the reprove on Sarah’s face. The other woman obviously didn’t understand what it meant, not yet.

“And you didn’t run after him?” Sarah questioned further. She had seen Cameron in action, chasing other terminators, fighting against them. A human being was no match for her.

They were getting closer to the truth, she was getting closer to let Sarah in on her theory and it made her feel uneasy. “No, I didn’t.”

The raven-haired woman looked at her, astonished. “Why?” It made no sense. This conversation was confusing and she was worried about what Cameron wasn’t telling her.

“I should put something on to wear. You said it is much better when I wear clothes.” Cameron went over to the dresser, opened the first drawer and picked a dark purple shirt. She liked that colour.

Actually Sarah hadn’t mind the girl’s half naked state. There was no arguing that her body was quite appealing. She only didn’t like it when she was running around the house in only her underwear and when John was nearly drooling over her. It evoked inappropriate jealousy, which she didn’t want to feel burning inside of her. “You didn’t answer my question, Cameron,” she said with a sigh, watching the girl put on the shirt.

She had seen the covered wounds on the terminator’s chest and stomach the second she had entered the room. It wasn’t necessary to ask her where she’d gotten these. The girl had taken the bullets which were meant for her, using her nearly indestructible body as a shield.

That was a brownie point, Sarah noted, remembering that John had told her to see them too and not only the cons. Being with Cameron would mean that she wouldn’t have to worry about her getting killed all the time, like it had been with Charlie.

Cameron’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I didn’t want to leave you behind. You were unconscious and defenseless. I needed to protect you and to get you home where it is safe.” Her right hand started twitching and so she shoved it into the pocket of her jeans.

Sarah couldn’t help herself but to feel affection for the girl and her sense of protectiveness. Was her safety a number one priority to the terminator as was John’s? A programmed priority as a part of her mission?

“So the attacker is still out there, tracing and hunting us,” the raven-haired woman detected.

“I made sure that he wasn’t following us. He was wounded and was probably going to find medical attention.” When he would dare to attack them again she would put a bullet in his head; she wouldn’t let him get away a second time.

“There’s one more thing I need to know,” Sarah said, trying to brace herself for the question and the answer she might get. “How is it possible, that you calculated the exact path of the bullets and the percentage of chances that I would die, but miscalculated how hard you can push me out of the way?” Sarah wanted to know, unable to suppress her skepticism and the blame completely.

“I don’t know,” Cameron answered and watched Sarah furrowing her brows. Her answer wasn’t satisfying. “John has a theory about it, as do I.”

“Sure he has.” Sarah laughed dryly. Her son always had an explanation, a justification when it came to the behaviour of the terminator. “Tell me.”

Cameron hesitated and then took some steps towards the other woman. She wanted to look her in the eye when she finally would tell her. “It’s because of you.”

“Because of me?” The terminator was now standing so close that she had look up and she didn’t like doing this. Sarah stood up, too quick and she was reeling again. Everything went black and stars were dancing behind her eyes. She was near to fainting.

Cameron took hold of her shoulders, trying to stabilize the raven-haired woman. “Yes.”

“You’re blaming me for your glitch, Tin Miss?” Sarah waited some seconds before she dared to open her eyes again. The girl’s soft hands were warm on her skin and she was way too close for her taste. Sometimes Cameron looked innocent and vulnerable like right now. It was clouding her judgement.

“I’m not blaming you,” the terminator assured her. “But my behaviour pattern shows that when I act inconsistent it is connected to you.”

Sarah had a lump in her stomach and she swallowed hard. “Explain it to me.”

“I was working in regular parameters when I calculated the path of the bullets. That changed when I had the result. You would say it caused a glitch. My systems and behaviour were driven by my concern for you. To get you out of the way was all that was important, no matter how.” It was an understatement. The fear for Sarah had been so intense it had overwhelmed her systems. She just hadn’t been able to process correctly.

That was a lot to take in and Sarah didn’t know how to respond to that, she broke the eye contact. “You can let go of me.” When Cameron took her hands away, she sat down again and noticed the girl’s ballet clothing splayed beside her.

Cameron waited for Sarah to say more and watched her grazing the fabric with her fingertips. She had intended to practice for a while, having taken them out this morning, before Sarah and she had gone to check out that building. To dance ballet always helped her to process more efficiently, when there were too many things she wanted to process at once.

“Why?” the raven-haired woman asked in a whisper. “Why me? Why am I the cause?”

“Because I have feelings for you,” Cameron admitted, restoring the eye contact. “Because I’m in love with you, Sarah.”

tbc...

A/N: I can't tell you how happy I'm that tv!Cameron has a similar glitch to my!Cameron *g* tv!Cameron couldn't control her strength and killed the pigeon! So I'm quite satisfied that my!Cameron is canon, who couldn't control her strength and pushed Sarah to hard. *hehe*

Feeling:  satisfied